Who stole the ‘gayest’ truck in Philadelphia?
A 14,000 lb. flatbed truck with pink lashes and red lips that belonged to the Bearded Ladies was stolen from Mt. Airy.
Most flatbed trucks do not have delicate pink lashes, cherry-red lips, or a crew of drag queens devoted to their care. But the 14,000 lb. flatbed truck named the Beardmobile did.
It was even relatively famous, as flatbeds go, having led Philly’s Pride parade for the last three years. Equipped with built-in speakers, a sound and lighting system, and a mobile stage, the Beardmobile was a particularly iconic truck, with features that do not exactly blend in on the highway.
That’s what makes its theft last month from West Mount Airy all the more confounding.
The Bearded Ladies, Philly’s queer cabaret group, bought and custom-outfitted the Beardmobile in the summer of 2020.
The group commissioned Philly artist Joy Taney to paint the truck’s beard and red locks, and worked with local technical directors to build the elaborate box on its back.
Once finished, the traveling stage became a frequent presence at shows and protests across the city, including the 2020 Count Every Vote protest at City Hall, No Arena in Chinatown protests in Center City, and Spiral Q’s Peoplehood Parade in West Philadelphia. The Bearded Ladies poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into maintaining the 2009 Isuzu NPR.
Unlike most people, let alone trucks, it has been the subject of four documentaries.
The truck was legally parked for the winter in the Allen’s Lane Arts Center parking lot, where the Bearded Ladies checked on it monthly. In early May, members of the group visited the lot to meet with potential drivers for summer events.
But the truck was gone.
“It’s just sad. Of course, I’m wondering was this a hate-motivated thing? Why would someone take the gayest and most visible truck in Philadelphia — nay, maybe in the country or the world?” asked John Jarboe, the Bearded Ladies’ founder and artistic director.
The Philadelphia Police Department confirmed receiving a report of a stolen auto on May 7, and said no arrests had been made.
Jarboe said the truck was stolen on April 18, and that a motion-detector security camera at Allen’s Lane showed thieves backing into the parking lot. The camera’s footage then went dark until the next morning, Jarboe said, suggesting the thieves managed to disrupt the wireless connection to the camera.
Since realizing the loss, the Bearded Ladies have been distributing joke-filled red and white fliers around the city “like it’s a lost cat,” Jarboe said. Known for their affection for spectacle and satire, the Bearded Ladies clarified on the flier that “our Beardmobile is REALLY missing and we REALLY need your help!”
The group, which performs in various public spaces, won’t be able to bring the truck to Pride next month or to the William Way summer block party, as it usually does.
“It’s a big loss for the community,” Jarboe said. She said the group does not intend to press charges (“that’s just not our vibe”) but hopes to get the truck back. They are not ready to think about getting a new truck, as they are still grieving the old one.
“To be honest, we tend to deal in cardboard and glitter,” Jarboe said. “What we’re really peddling is our big queer hearts — it’s impossible to steal those.”