2025 Alfa Romeo Stelvio: Damn the quirks and full speed ahead!

2025 Alfa Romeo Stelvio Tributo Italiano AWD vs. 2025 BMW X3 xDrive30i: Old vs. new.

This week: Alfa Romeo Stelvio

Price: $58,690 as tested. Active Assist Plus Package added all kinds of lanekeeping functions for $700.

Conventional wisdom: Car and Driver likes the “eye-catching styling” and rejoices that “standard all-wheel drive powertrain provides ample motivation” and is “especially engaging to drive.” Downsides include “hints of cost-cutting in the interior, tight rear seat and limited cargo area,” and that “we weep for the late Quadrifoglio performance model.”

Marketer’s pitch: “A banquet for the eyes.”

Reality: When the aging Saab is ready to be parked in the field.

What’s new: The Stelvio continues roaming its own SUV path; a streamlined model lineup makes way for the limited-production Tributo Italiano tested, which basically adds big wheels, snazzy colors, and tech features.

The start button remains on the steering wheel, so you know it’s quirky.

Competition: In addition to the BMW X3, the Acura RX, Audi Allroad, Audi Q5, Cadillac XT5, BMW X4, Lexus NX, and Volvo XC60 are among the closest competitors.

Up to speed: The Stelvio gets to 60 mph in 5.4 seconds, according to Car and Driver, which alluded to that not being a 2025 model by saying “it’s been a minute” since they clocked a Stelvio. Still, that’s a pretty quick little SUV.

Running the 280 horses in Dynamic mode unleashes all the power. Natural dials it back a bit, and Advanced efficiency mode sucks all the fun out of it to save some gas fumes.

The 2-liter turbocharged four-cylinder engine sounds really cool and European when it’s being put to the test.

Shifty: The 8-speed transmission works nicely on its own, although it can be a little harsh when it’s cold and being run in Dynamic mode. There’s a BMW-style joystick, because sometimes it pays to borrow from the best.

On the road: I mentioned fun, and there is plenty to be had in the Stelvio. Though it took me a little while to adjust to the quirky steering and unusual drive modes.

As expected, Dynamic mode is your friend here.

The old Alfa excitement came roaring back when I was debating a left turn to head home. I make the choice at the last minute because I only turn if the other lane is clear.

But another car was hot on my tail. No oncoming traffic, so I switched on the left blinker and slowed down almost imperceptibly from about 40 into the corner, and the Stelvio made the turn with a little bit of slide, recovered itself at the right moment, and proceeded up the next road.

After that, country roads became a total joy. “You going a little fast?” the Lovely Mrs. Passenger Seat noted. “It’s hard not to,” I replied.

Try Natural mode on highways that are a little bouncy. I’m glaring at you, Route 202 southbound in Tredyffrin.

Driver’s Seat: The seats should be on special at the local bar because, oh, the wings. They do expand and contract ever so slightly, but you’ll want to make sure you’re fully devoted to this kind of cuddling before signing the purchase agreement.

The rest of the interface is pure Alfa, with skinny fonts on the gauges and steering-wheel buttons that double for several functions depending on what else is pushed first.

Friends and stuff: The rear seat is quite snug for a not-small-looking SUV. Legroom is tight, although foot room and headroom are pretty good. The center position has a lot of floor hump.

The seat is kind of flat but not uncomfortable, and the angle is OK.

Folding the seat down requires pulling the lever at the hatch and either using an umbrella or some other device to poke the seat back down, dispensing all dignity and climbing in, or walking to the rear doors and pulling it down.

Cargo space is 18.5 cubic feet in the back, and no rating is given for the seat being folded. Towing capacity is 3,000 pounds.

In and out: The vehicle height is nice for getting in and out, but the very narrow rear door bottom can be tricky, as can the sharp corner in the door. Enter carefully.

Looking back: The size and shape of the side-view mirrors work together to make changing lanes and backing up more challenging than necessary. The rear window also adds another level of opacity by being short and angled weirdly.

Play some tunes: Sound from the system took some adjustment, but even then provided playback that was only about a B or B+.

Operation is available through the touchscreen, which has an easy home screen. But the screen was balky when adjusting the tone; it kept jumping back to the previous number as I tried to move the slider up.

A dial on the console also can be used for stereo features.

Keeping warm and cool: HVAC controls are similar to those in most Stellantis brethren, like Jeep and Ram. Dials control the temperature and fan speed and buttons handle everything else.

Fuel economy: I averaged 18.8 mpg in some fun driving. I was actually a little easy on it for a couple days.

Where it’s built: Cassino, Italy

How it’s built: Consumer Reports predicts the Stelvio reliability to be a 2 out of 5.

In the end: The Alfa Romeo Stelvio is a whole red flag factory in a town called Red Flag, from its reliability to its minuscule sales to the shakiness of its parent company Stellantis. But, man, it’s a lot of fun on the road.

Next week: How does the BMW X3 compare?