One of Philly’s toughest reporters has a new assignment helping her 20-something neighbor get a girlfriend

When you see Lisa DePaulo’s byline, you don’t think of the Cupid beat. In her career writing for publications like GQ, Vanity Fair, and New York and Philadelphia magazines, this tough cookie’s element has had more to do with thugs and scoundrels who whack their girlfriends than nice guys looking for one.

But when her neighbor in their Center City high-rise, 28-year-old Dylan Morganstein, confided his frustrations with the modern dating scene, pull-no-punches DePaulo decided immediate intervention was called for.

“Dylan is so terrific,” said DePaulo, 63. “I told him, we’re going to find you somebody great.”

And thus began “The Dylan Project,” one woman’s crusade to help a young friend find romantic bliss.

In the brief interval since its June inception, the project has won a devoted social media following in DePaulo’s network and beyond. When Morganstein’s photo is posted, there is often lively commentary:

“Can I hire you for my daughter?”

“Is his Dad available?”

“You sure he doesn’t want an older woman?”

“Has he ever killed before?” asked a friend clearly familiar with DePaulo’s body of work.

“Only in the looks department!” DePaulo replied.

So far, she’s introduced Morganstein to several interesting women.

And although “the thunderbolt hasn’t struck yet,” says his undaunted amalgam of matchmaker, Italian yenta, fairy godmother, and surrogate auntie, DePaulo believes that success for The Dylan Project is just one date away.

And why not? In the charnel house of modern dating, it’s not like anyone else has discovered a surefire approach. But heaven knows they’ve tried.

There’s the local guy Dave who put himself and his cat on a billboard. And the Philly singles who have sought free dating advice from two helpful strangers, while many more have swiped themselves silly, hoping to meet their match in this, America’s most single big city. Some have allowed friends to use Power Point to pitch them to packed bars. Still others have thrown up their hands and spent thousands of dollars on the services of a professional matchmaker.

DePaulo, of course, doesn’t pretend to be in the same league as the pros.

But Erika Kaplan, a Philly matchmaker and vice president with the national matchmaking service Three Day Rule, suggested that there’s some sound logic behind DePaulo’s efforts on Morganstein’s behalf.

“Matchmakers are paid for their expertise, their experience, their perspective, and, of course, their network. Dylan’s very generous friend may not have some of those qualities going forward, but she certainly has perspective,” Kaplan said. “I think that gives Dylan a much better opportunity to meet people outside of his own comfort zone and wheelhouse.”

The lack of independent but informed perspective, she suggested, is one reason online dating apps so often disappoint.

“What happens with the apps is people tend to swipe on what’s familiar,” said Kaplan. ”And what’s familiar isn’t necessarily what actually works.”

The apps weren’t working too well for The Dylan Project’s namesake, either.

“I feel like I’ve been on them since out of college,” said Morganstein, a tech sales professional and real estate agent who grew up in Lower Moreland Township. “What I’ll do is I’ll go on a few dates, they’ll all pretty much suck, and then I’ll be like, ‘Alright, I’ll try again in five months.’ Then I’ll do the same thing.”

It’s not like he’s never been in committed, even long-term relationships. But they all had started more organically.

He met his high school sweetheart one summer down the Shore. He met his college girlfriend at a party while they were students at Penn State. The last person he dated seriously was a woman his cousin had introduced him to.

And, sure, he’s had some fun through the dating apps, but a lot of the people he met weren’t looking for anything more.

“I’ve grown a ton on my own, and I’ve gotten to a place where I can be the right partner,” he said. “Being a good dad and a good husband are the two things that are most important to me. I’ve always longed for a special connection regardless of where I was at in my life, but now I’m definitely ready for that special connection. I’m looking for long-term.”

And that’s where The Dylan Project comes in.

The two neighbors — they live across the hall from each other — had become acquainted the way people often do in big city apartment buildings: when they ran into each other, they chatted.

“Lisa’s a character,” Morganstein said. “She just says whatever the hell is on her mind.”

DePaulo was also growing fond of her considerate, polite neighbor. Even her little Havanese pup Joey loved him. So why did he always seem to be flying solo?

One day during a chance meeting, she seized her moment.

“I said, ‘Dylan, what’s your story?’ He said, ‘What do you mean?’ So I said, ‘What are you? Gay? Straight?’”

When Morganstein stopped laughing, he confided he was hoping to find a girlfriend.

“And then she’s like, ‘Well, we’re going to talk! We’re going to figure this out!’”

Not long after, The Dylan Project debuted on DePaulo’s very active Facebook page with a nice big photo DePaulo snapped of the eligible bachelor.

“She didn’t necessarily ask for my consent,” Morganstein said of that posting, “but I couldn’t care less because I think it’s pure entertainment — hysterical. So I’m like, Just run with it!’’

The Facebook posts have generated interest with several candidates. So has this irrepressible dynamo working her sizable network. DePaulo, who calls herself “terminally single,” believes methods like vetting prospects before introducing them will yield the best results.

“It’s the old-fashioned way, and it worked,” she said.

Of course, she and Morganstein have talked about the qualities he hopes to find in his eventual loved one.

“I’m looking for someone kind and warm, who can understand someone else’s perspective,” Morganstein said. “Someone who’s ambitious, trustworthy, loyal with a dark, funny sense of humor. Someone who likes to stay healthy.”

DePaulo, being DePaulo, edited that down a bit: “Smart, and hot as hell!”

Meanwhile, DePaulo has learned more about contemporary courtship. She’s begun to offer pointers.

“I’m trying a slightly different strategy and that is to smack him for texting,” she said in one of her Dylan Project updates. “This texting thing sucks. These youngsters do not know the beautiful experience of Talking On The Phone. I’m serious. He is now under strict orders TO CALL THEM.”

But even as the quest for true love continues, something remarkable has already come out of The Dylan Project. DePaulo and Morganstein have become really good buddies. Their age difference, if anything, has just made the friendship more resonant.

One recent evening, Morganstein, his twin sister Demi, DePaulo, and a couple of her friends got together for a barbecue on their building’s roof deck. They all had a raucously fun time.

“I’ve made a great friend,” Morganstein said. “This is someone I genuinely care about.”

The millennial says he’s gained some valuable insight from his boomer pal.

“What I probably have learned the most from her is just about being unapologetically yourself,” he said. “She is so secure in who she is. She told me, ‘Don’t question yourself, don’t apologize for feeling the way you feel. Be confident.””

Meanwhile, DePaulo is glad to count her young neighbor as a special friend. Now she just needs to keep looking for that elusive lady love.

“We’re going to find him a great person,” she said, “because Dylan’s amazing.”