Bringing out the best in each other

July 8, 2023, in Bala Cynwyd, Pa.

Matt was waiting for his first math class at St. Joseph’s University to start when a very cute girl he didn’t know walked in. “I hope she sits next to me,” he thought. She did.

Melanie simply sat in the first empty seat she saw that day in August 2009, but the more she talked to Matt, the more she looked forward to math class. “This guy is really funny,” she remembers thinking. “He makes me laugh.”

One day he passed her a note à la middle school:

Will you go out with me? Check one:

__Yes

__No

Melanie let him down easy with the truth. “If I didn’t have a boyfriend, I would love to go out with you,” she said. “I hope we can be friends.”

Their friend groups didn’t overlap much and Matt, an English major, and Melanie, an elementary ed major, never had another class together. Still, running into each other on campus always meant spontaneous conversation and sometimes, lunch.

The two lost touch during grad school — she remained at St. Joe’s, he went to West Chester University.

In September 2019, Matt was working at a temp agency and wanted to make a change. He thought about getting a teaching certificate, and remembered that his college friend Melanie was a teacher. Her number was still in his phone. He sent a text that went something like, “Long time no see! Would you like to meet up? I’d like to ask you what it would take to get into a teaching position.”

Melanie, who is now a second grade teacher at Sabold Elementary in the Springfield School District, is the district’s library coordinator, and also works at Bryn Mawr’s Ludington Library, was absolutely willing to help. She gathered information about courses he would need, and, over lunch at the Broomall Panera — convenient to both where he lived with his parents in Broomall and where she lived with hers in Haverford — let him pick her brain about classroom life.

“I thought we would be there an hour or two, but I checked my phone, and oh my gosh, we had been there for four hours,” Melanie said.

In the weeks that followed, she kept thinking about Matt and even missing him — strange, since other than lunch, she hadn’t seen him in years. “I should text him,” she told herself. “Maybe that’s weird, but I’m going to do it anyway.”

After many text exchanges, the two decided to meet again for what became another multihour lunch at Panera. A few days later, Melanie took a deep breath and hit send on the riskiest text she’s ever written.

“You know, I always did really like you,” read Matt, who is now a copy writer for Stream Cos. and a writing tutor at Neumann University.

“Like me, like me?” he typed.

“Yes,” said Melanie, holding her breath.

Matt was pleasantly shocked. “Well then, we should meet up again,” he said.

He needed help wrapping Christmas gifts, which sounded like a perfect low-key first date to Melanie. By January, they were exclusive.

In February 2020, the couple moved to an apartment in Broomall — walking distance from their Panera — and almost immediately set up a guinea pig enclosure. First came Hans, then Dusty, Wimpleton, Dream, Pumpkin, and Toblerone. The latest addition, Harley, is a foster who is up for adoption through Noah’s Ark Rescue Project and Sanctuary, a.k.a. NARPS, where the couple regularly volunteers.

Matt and Melanie, now both 32, also share their home with a bearded dragon, Falkor, a toad, Speckles, and, when school is not in session, three hermit crabs and several fish from Melanie’s classroom. They seek pets who have been abandoned or who may have trouble finding a home. Falkor has a metabolic bone disease. Toblerone has a heart murmur. The late Hans couldn’t use his back legs.

Melanie and Matt also care for other people’s pets through her business, Pawsitively Perfect Pet & Home Care.

“What I love most about Matt is that he brings out the best of me all the time,” Melanie said. “He supports me in everything, and he makes me laugh.”

“I can really and truly be myself around Mel without any filter,” said Matt. “I feel more comfortable around her than anyone else.”

On a Sunday in October 2021, Melanie taught her CCD class with a little technology assist from Matt. “Let’s go to St. Joe’s,” he suggested afterward. “We haven’t been there together in a good while.”

In the courtyard of Barbelin Hall, Matt said, “Twelve years ago I met you here, and this place obviously has meant a lot to me and to us. So here is where I want to ask you another really important question.”

He knelt. “Will you marry me?”

Matt didn’t cry, as he’d feared, but the campus tour guide they asked to take their picture did.

The couple married July 8 with a traditional Catholic ceremony and Mass at St. Matthias Catholic Church in Bala Cynwyd.

On the guest list: every student Melanie has taught for the past nine years at her current school and in Coatesville, and her CCD students. The 30 who came were all flower children; they walked down the aisle and placed a single flower in a vase, as did Matt’s 4-year-old niece, Robyn.

Melanie planned a special children’s reception complete with wedding cupcakes and a visit with their teacher and her new husband. The students all signed a picture frame, in which the couple will display a group photo from the wedding.

The adults’ reception for 200 was held at Radnor Valley Country Club in Villanova. The couple welcomed guests, then entered the reception to ABBA’s “When I Kissed the Teacher.” The favors were the candy that matches their initials: M&M’s.

Speeches included words from the groom’s twin and best man, Ryan, and the bride’s sister and maid of honor, Carla. Matt’s mother wrote a poem for the couple, which she read out loud at Matt’s urging.

Then Rammy, the West Chester Ram, and the St. Joe’s Hawk arrived, each unaware the other was coming. A hammed-up rival response delighted guests.

Melanie and Matt love a good contest — they have placed in the Morris Arboretum’s Scarecrow Contest and won Best Balcony for a July Fourth display. Wedding guests played games, and some left with prizes.

The band, the Insiders, passed out tambourines and maracas and everybody danced.

When Matt first saw Melanie walking toward him, “I started to do the pre-cry where you’re breathing in all weird,” he said. “Pull it together,” his best man told him, and somehow, Matt did. “I could see her, with her veil and her dress, the most beautiful woman to ever exist, coming to marry me,” he said.

Toward the end of the night, the band played Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’ ” and guests formed a circle around the couple. “All around us I could see all of our family and friends, everybody, there in one place together,” Melanie said.

The couple honeymooned in Barbados, where they explored caves and forests and visited an aviary. This year’s students are calling Melanie a new name: Dr. Parsons — she recently completed her Ed.D.

Matt and Melanie hope to soon buy a house. She wants to start teaching education majors as an adjunct, and Matt is working toward a promotion. A bit down the road, they hope to have children, and they plan to foster, as well.

Dear Readers,

For nearly 16 years, it’s been my joyful responsibility to write the love stories of Greater Philadelphians. This is the last column, and I didn’t want it to end without saying goodbye, and, more importantly, thanking you.

Thank you to all who have read the column, which once focused on newlyweds’ first chapters, then expanded in 2020 to include other loves: the tested relationships of long-married couples, the strength of families, the bonds between friends. I hope you enjoyed what you read and that some stories reminded you of your own.

Thank you to the estimated 1,540 people who shared their stories and trusted me to tell them. You have shown that romantic love is always possible — and that it makes a person as giddy at 90 as it does at 19. You have awed and inspired with the kindness and support you give one another and those around you, and with tenacious fights for marriage equality and racial justice. You have reminded me that friendship can get a person through just about anything.

With gratitude,

Kellie Patrick Gates