We love marble. But marble will never love us back.

Marble, that beautiful, fussy stone, is the ne plus ultra finish for high-end kitchens and bathrooms. Beverly Hills-based real estate agent Josh Flagg, a star of Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles, sums up the problem with this ubiquitous natural stone and the way we insist on using it in our homes: “Marble in a kitchen is the least functional thing that you can install.” He continues, rattling off a list of complaints — porous, easily stained, damage-prone — about marble, in particular, but please know that granite is not spared either.

He caps off his rant in exactly the way you’d expect. “In my own home, I have Calacatta Gold marble slabs in all the bathrooms and kitchen. Of course, I know that it’s the least durable and most impractical thing.”

“Marble has long been prized for its natural beauty and luxurious feel,” says Gena Kirk, the vice president of corporate studio at KB Home. “Each slab has its own unique character and veining, and it instantly elevates a space. However, marble is susceptible to staining and etch, and needs regular sealing to keep it looking its best.”

To put it another way, marble is a bear to maintain. “You need to treat the marble and be very careful in the kitchen, especially,” Flagg says. “You have a very short window of time to keep it looking good and fresh because if it’s a functioning kitchen, it’s not going to hold up.” Natural stone can be particularly tricky in the kitchen, says Brian Holland, a director of research & development at Weiman Products, because “marble is a natural stone with numerous crevices and pores where stains from dirt and food can cause unsightly discolorations.”

There are other problems that beset a home done up in marble and other natural stones. “While my current natural stone floors are undeniably beautiful, they require significant upkeep to maintain their appearance,” Kirk says. “Beyond the demanding maintenance, they can be uncomfortable to stand on for extended periods and tend to feel cold.”

Blame Nancy Meyers. The filmmaker of such hits as Something’s Gotta Give, The Holiday, and It’s Complicated sets popularized a high-end kitchen design featuring traditional cabinets, tongue-and-groove paneling, and, yup, loads of natural stone surfaces.

“In the early 2000s, after the Mediterranean phase wore out and the terrazzo became dated and tired, people started doing the Nancy Meyers look,” Flagg says, “which was subway tiles of Calacatta or Carrara on the backsplash and slabs on the counters.” It’s worth noting, however, that Meyers tends to write about middle-aged characters — ones whose children have (one hopes!) moved into their own impossibly gorgeous and impossible-to-maintain homes.

Of course, the use of marble predates Nancy Meyers by, oh, a few centuries. Ancient Greece and Rome were awash in the stuff and, throughout history, marble has been used to build courthouses, banks, and government buildings, lending an air of authority and (literal) stateliness to the stone. In modern American interior design, marble starts to make an appearance in homes in the ’70s and ’80s. But that marble looked different from the marbles we covet today; it was louder, flashier, more colorful. If Nancy Meyers represents how we think of a marble kitchen now, Scarface would have been marble’s cultural touchstone a few decades back.

While trends in marble come and go, the stone’s cachet has remained remarkably consistent over the centuries. When asked what makes marble so alluring, the designers, architects, and marble setters we spoke to described it as “elite,” “timeless,” “premium,” “authentic,” “intricate,” “a status symbol,” and “an authority symbol.”

“As humans, we understand and recognize that marble has been used throughout history,” says Amber Carfield, the director of design at Kitchens By Good Guys. She compares it with gold in that it is instantly recognizable as a commodity that connotes status, wealth, and luxury.

Like gold, marble is expensive. Generally speaking, the choice to use marble as a finish over a more durable, lower-priced material will run you double the cost of marble alternatives, Carfield says. That’s just to purchase and install the stone; once it is in your home, marble requires significant upkeep — experts say to reseal marble countertops at least twice a year — and may need to be replaced entirely if it sustains major damage.

Before chasing your own Nancy Meyers dreams (or Tony Montana nightmares), experts say, it is crucial to be realistic about the makeup of your household, as well as your cooking habits. “If you have kids, perhaps marble is not the material for your kitchen. Unless you like them eating over the very nice Calacatta Michelangelo kitchen island,” says Alvaro Torrecilla, the vice president of stone at Nemo Tile & Stone, “a more resistant or durable material may suit you better.”

Flagg echoes that advice. “You can hone the marble; you can leather the marble,” she says, referring to two popular treatments to make marble more durable. “You can do any kind of treatment you want, but long-term marble is not meant for a kid.”

Even grown-up kids can heap disaster onto your marble. Kirk tells the story of friends whose college-aged son put a hot frying pan down on their “stunning” Carrara marble countertop, leaving a permanent ring. The damage was irreparable, and the marble was replaced with quartz that mimicked the look of the Carrara.

Like other designers and architects, Sandya Dandamudi, the president and owner of GI Stone, does her best to steer her clients away from poorly chosen uses for marble — but she doesn’t always succeed. “I do a lot of commercial work, and we put a lot of marble in amenity spaces,” despite her best efforts to explain that the marble will get damaged, quickly, in communal areas such as catering kitchens and coworking spaces. “As much as I hate admitting that we have some bad stories, because I pride myself in being able to educate our customers, there are always a couple of people who don’t listen.”

Sometimes it doesn’t take a disaster for someone to admit their marble was a mistake. “I have a client who put a very nice, big, beautiful piece on their island,” Carfield says. “It was something they were very convicted on.” After a few years, however, the client replaced their marble after finally admitting to themselves that the stone was not holding up. “It was a huge investment on the front end and on the back end,” Carfield says.

While the Nancy Meyers marble kitchen look has dominated interiors for almost two decades, Kirk says that contemporary lifestyles have prompted a shift in its use. “As people started spending more time in their kitchen cooking, entertaining, and even remote working,” she says, “the practical limitations of natural marble became increasingly apparent.” As a result, people are reserving marble for use in low-traffic areas, such as a statement coffee table or other decorative home accessories.

“Homeowners today are looking for materials that offer both a timeless look blended with practicality,” Kirk says. Buyers are still dazzled by the allure of marble, Kirk says, but there is a significant shift happening, with a preference for materials that offer easier maintenance but that don’t compromise aesthetics.

“For homeowners who appreciate the elegance of natural stone but prioritize practicality and durability, a marble-look floor tile or quartz for counters offers a compelling and often more budget-friendly alternative,” she says. “Quartz continues to be a top choice because it mimics the look of natural stone but is far more resistant to stains and scratches,” she says, adding that super durable large-format porcelain slabs and sintered stone are growing in popularity. “Ultimately, homeowners desire their spaces to feel elevated and stylish but also livable. They’re prioritizing long-term functionality alongside aesthetics, and that’s driving the demand for materials that are both sophisticated yet hassle-free.”

Marble alternatives aren’t for everyone, though. Flagg pooh-poohs imitation marble. “You could use a fake porcelain tile, but the reality is, it doesn’t look anything like the real stuff.”