I am a new parent simply begging Rival Bros. to bring this coffee drink back ASAP

As the parent of a five-month-old, let me tell you: No one is exaggerating about how tired new parents are. If you have not been one yourself recently, you would simply be amazed at how little sleep a human needs to function. When people ask how I’m sleeping, I say, “fine.” We all know it is not fine: It is, at best, a little better than a college student trying to cram all their studying for a semester 48 hours before the final. I love it, actually. My son is adorable and I have a robust parasocial relationship with one of his stuffed animals. How do I remain ambulatory, you ask? That age-old answer: a hideous amount of caffeine.

I have so many kinds of caffeine at my disposal it’s a little absurd. I have instant coffee, regular cold brew that I make, canned cold brew, Diet Coke, Diet Coke mixed with the cold brew I made (don’t do it) and ok, yes, I did order a crate of Celsius. None compares to Rival Bros. Bareknuckle bottled “cold espresso,” which it began selling on April 6, some eight weeks into parenthood. I ordered my first bottle in some bleary hour while browsing Instagram (do not ask about my screentime).

A 750 milliliter bottle has 25 shots of espresso, allowing me to make triple iced lattes at 4:39 a.m., when no coffee shop is open in my timezone. It actually tastes like espresso pulled by a barista and bottled — it has the telltale tang of actual espresso, as opposed to flat-tasting bottled cold brew — which is no mean feat. You can take tiny sips directly from the bottle. You can stir it into your seltzer. You can use it to make espresso martinis. You can add a little lemon to it and pretend like you’re on a beach in Italy instead of watching an episode of ER at 4 am while an infant fusses at you.

For the past few months, it has been a staple of my “day,” or whatever chunk of time I am calling a day. To my absolute horror, however, as I browsed the website to restock during the first few days of July, it was no longer available.

This, you may understand, caused an immediate collapse of my psyche. But as an intrepid reporter, I realized I have the power to ask questions, and so I did. In a completely calm and not-at-all unhinged email, I asked the team at Rival Bros.: Where is it???? Without it, not to be dramatic, I may perish.

Luckily, the lapse is temporary: “It’s quickly become a crowd favorite — so much so that we are waiting on a restock from our co-packer,” Rival Bros. co-founder Jonathan Adams wrote back. “We should have it in a few weeks.”

Finally, some good news: I can stay up past 5 pm once more.